Sigh of the Devil

2004-12-09T13:54:00.000+02:00

Another at the Cemetery GatesIt breaks my heart to post this, but it has just been released that ex-Pantera guitarist, rock-god, the red-beard himself, Dimebag Darrell passed away last night.

During a Damageplan (the band Dime's currently with) show in Ohio, a man climbed on stage and opened fire killing Dime and 4 others.

I cannot even start thinking what this is going to do to the music world. I'm still in shock, more so than I was when Kurt left us. This guy was my God right through the pimpley highschool years, and has never once moved off the winners podium of guitarists. I mean, Jesus, Pantera! And my thoughts are with Vinnie, too, Dime's brother and drummer.

I'm thinking of having our own little wake this weekend, where we listen to his music, break shit, drink Jack Daniels, get naked chicks and vomit everywhere. Just how he would've wanted it.

Dimebag had won every guitar contest in Texas, and was banned from entering them, by the time he was 16. He has been voted as the best metal guitarist by Guitar World, to name one. He is also the inventor his own custom range of guitars (Washburn body, with a Dean head, originally). Apart from all that, he was just one cool motherfucker.

Later dude, from all of us fans. You still rock.

2004-10-07T11:55:00.000+02:00

The fun of changeA change is as good as a holiday, they say. And I must say, I agree.

We've recently dragged our bed from its usual, cozy bedroom to the lounge. Now we can do everything there, with out any hassles.

DSTv all the time, kitchen around the corner, patio but a few light steps away, it's literally in the centre of the house. And it also makes sleeping fun again.

The only downside is that it makes you fat and lazy. Or is that 2 downsides?

2004-09-28T12:59:00.000+02:00

Wow, it's been a while.

What have I been up to? A hell of a lot of work, you boneless motherfuckers.

But, I'm making a concerted effort to keep my loyal following happy, and hence I will be blogging more.

It's weird. I used to have to find excuses not to blog, and work instead. Seems the roles have reversed.

Damn, I'm dedicated. Just not to you people.

Your Master needs You!

2004-08-14T13:03:00.000+02:00

Your Devil Needs You!

Because I know you all love me so much, I'm going to implore you to click this link, and follow it through. Join my army (or start your own), and we'll crush all those who stand before us, and maybe those to our left as well!

Seriously, this game is fucking cool. I haven't found a cool multiplayer text based game since Blood. In fact this is a million times better.

Form your own clan with friends, and ally against those you despise. Send spies to sabotage enemy weapons before you plunder their gold, and then wait in the morning gloom as they rally their forces in retaliation. Chose from 4 different races. etc etc. It's just cool. Click this link, and I'll see you on the battlefield.

If you're really behind me, you'll mail this (http://www.kingsofchaos.com/recruit.php?uniqid=xpg369t4) link to everyone you know, and make them click it too. It's Christmas soon, and I wouldn't want to have to scratch anyone off my list...

2004-08-12T10:54:00.000+02:00

It's Bianca's birthday today, and I'm stuck at work, nauseating over the amount of work I have to finish before the weekend, and she's relaxing at home, watching her new DVD, and listening to her new Entwine album. Then I'm picking her up in the tiny time-wedge I have between meetings and taking her to Northgate, for a lazy shopping experience. And then, when she's ready, I will hurtle out of the office, papers spewing in my hasty turbulence, so I can pick her up and take her home.

Happy birthday, bitch.

We are then grabbing some sushi for dinner, with Hookerbastard and Mistress Snottybitch. I'm hoping she wants me for dessert (how could she not?! I know!).

2004-07-28T13:58:00.000+02:00

Added extraNow I know I'm going to get yelled at for this, but it's worth blogging about.

Seeing as we're on this whole religious kick, I suggest you all stagger over to here, and see if you agree that there are ways to please your god, and your lady at the same time.

2004-07-27T14:05:00.000+02:00

AbominateI commented on this guys website yesterday, not so much because I wanted to start a debate, but more because I was looking for a reaction (I'm so reactionable*, aren't I). But that's besides the point, because a debate is what I started when he, the good christian** that he is, replied to my comment.

To quote: Ahem...
It is my belief that those that tatoo themselves or do extreme piercing are trying to either hide themselves from God or they are right out saying God did not put enough care into creating and forming them so they will finish the job. Or perhaps God didn't make them the right gender, so they will change it. Or that God is making them age too fast and to hold onto their youthful appearence they defy the natural order of things. All is vanity. All are abominations and wickedness.

So, I am an abomination because I stuck silver through my body? My friends are wicked because they have tattoo's?

I had a look around, though, to find out what the current christian opinion (they change every so often) is regarding body modification, and its ramifications on the soul/spiritual body/standing with the Big Guy.

It's interesting to find that the scripture many christians use as a support for their anti-bodmod argument

"Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD." - Leviticus 19:28

is actually in a section of the Bibble**** considered to be part of the first covenant God had with man, and which was redone by Jesus. Hence; it is out of date.

Check out Bmezine's take on the whole thing (thanks for doing my research for me, guys.)

But there are people, christian people, who believe that body modification is an affront to God. Look, I'm ok if you don't like it. I have no problem if it's a personal taste thing. But please don't tell me I'm the hellbound because I think my body can do with that little something extra. Something shiny. And don't use references that your own religion believe as a whole to be passé to back your argument up.

Of course, there's the other team as well. I find myself liking them more.

At the end of the day, though it is a personal thing. I do it because I think I look hot, not because I'm "running from God". I think christians as a whole depend more on what society thinks than anything else anyway, and if it's weird in the eyes of society, which is always pure and good, then it must be bad in the eyes of God. No matter what the good book/God himself/plain logic says. We've all been given this body, and while some folk might be happy with it the way it is, some of us are not; and in varying degrees. I might not want to have my tongue split, but I also don't see a manifestation of the devil in those that do. It's a personal thing.

There's nothing wrong with self expression. Whether you do it on canvas, or to yourself.

Otherwise, Adam's quite a nice guy. And his wife'sgot pretty eyes (with a ring through the brow).

*Yes, I know reactionable isn't a real word.
**I refuse to capitalise the word, more out of spite than anything else.***
*** Even though I don't really have anything to be spiteful about.
****Isn't it a funny word now?! Bibble. I'm so amusing.

Found treasures

2004-07-14T16:40:00.000+02:00

I just found a voice-memo on my Palm, marked from the '4/4: 3:35am'. I have no recollection of recording this, but that hold true for many things in my life. And as with those, I have the sneaking suspicion I was fairly drunk at the time. Here it is, transcribed perfectly (I assume that's why I recorded it; so I would blog my brilliance later).

"The expectation something something... The expectation is often better than (someone else's coughing noises in background) the thing itself. That's right, hey? The expectation is often better than the thing itself (yeah, that is right in the background), and that's definately true for getting hit, because (cough cough) you're like Ohh, I expect to get hit, this isn't that bad, and then it's like, I get hit, and it's like, Well, that's definately worse."

I assume I thought it was clever when I did it. Sometimes I confuse myself.

Edit: Judging by the coughing, I assume there may very well have been marijuana involved. Which explains a lot.

Tonight

2004-07-14T14:54:00.000+02:00

Tonight

This evening, Bianca and myself have to clean the house. If there's one thing I hate, it's sore balls... I mean, house cleaning.

I managed to get her to agree to handle the hillock of dishes and cutlery resting the counter, tenuously stuck together by dry chilli relish and alfredo sauce, because all us whipped house-boys know how awful cleaning dishes is. I'm manipulative like that.

Which leaves me with the rest of the house. It's pretty big, too. If only the quarter-wit 'domestic worker' wasn't sick yesterday... Let me tell you, though. She'd better be fucking sick.

War on Pornography

2004-07-07T11:46:00.000+02:00

War on Pornography

I do not know where Pornography is, nor do I know why Americans and Canadians are declaring war on it, but I, for one, am sick to death of all the war! We need to stop it. First Iraq, now this. What next?

Fleshbot needs your show of support, as I am showing mine by adding this link. Plus they're trying to get their post to show as the top result for any Google search for 'War on Pornography', which I'm sure we all agree will be very lol-able (amusing, in English). Go ahead. Click it!

If you want to check the original article (in the Salt Lake Tribune, funny enough), you will find, astonishingly, that Pornography is actually more addictive than booze, drugs and cigarettes! Wow. I went to check out the War on Pornography peoples' website, and was disappointed to see that they didn't have examples of exactly what it is they are fighting.

Still, we need to make a stand.

I'm going to hell

2004-07-06T12:21:00.000+02:00

I'm going to hell

But I can't stop reading/laughing/almost agreeing with this guy. Even though I'm opposed to guns, bush, America in general, the War, and essentially everything else Frank is for. Except Star Wars, which I think is common ground.

Wonder why? Go and read this.

Plus, look at how nice his hair is brushed. How do you argue with that? I mean, I man with grooming like that must be right (purposeful pun).

He he.

2004-06-30T17:36:00.000+02:00

Ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?

Yeah, me neither...

Balancing Moore

2004-06-30T16:38:00.000+02:00

There's a lot of debate flying around questioning the validity of Michael Moore, with specific reference to the release of Farenheit 9/11, which was released in America recently. In fact, many people are outraged at the fact that he even calls himself a documentary maker. The point as I see it is that the 'documentary' is biased very far (in fact, to the point of falling over) to the 'Left', which the Righties as fuel to remove the title 'documentary'. Which I agree with. Doccies should be neutral. Moore has 'creatively edited' (I've got to learn to get by without using ' ' all the time...) the footage, to distort and sometimes completely change the facts.

I haven't seen it yet, so my opinion is an uneducated one. But at least you know the guy who's making this comment is.

Now, if I understand you, you're infuriated by truth bending, unless it's bent to your side? I didn't see this much criticism of Bush, when he 'bent the truth'. And he's not a filmmaker, he's the president! Actually, aren't most of the people in the White House outright lying about most things?

So, someone is bending the truth in his favour, and many people are bending it in theirs'. Hopefully, after actually seeing the movie myself, I might be able to get some grasp on the truth, which should be somewhere in the middle. All Moore will do (hopefully) will skew the truth back a lot, a base agent, if you will (and you will because I say so) to counter Bushism's acidity. Clever, no?

Of course, I'm inevitably going to end up somewhere on the left anyway, because I think Bush is a stinky, dung-brained, murdering fucking liar. But I get to be biased too. However, at least I'm right... no I mean left. I'm correct.

Dubbya goes disco

2004-06-28T11:43:00.000+02:00

In another excellent post from someone I don't read as often as I'd like to, Frank J, has written an amusing, factual bit about how Georgie Bush got Satan to pull out of the running for the elections.

Plus he's rewritten The Devil Went down to Georgia to fit the scene. If you don't go read it now, you're done for.

2004-06-25T16:40:00.000+02:00

What?!?!What?! What the fuck? Only 38%?!

I haven't been trying hard enough. Thanks to Metafilter for ruining my dreams

2004-06-24T17:54:00.000+02:00

Busy weekAs if anyone actually cared, I'm sorry that I've been so scarce here recently. I've been devoting time to my other 3 blogs, which might actually have some sort of financial/recognition rewards coming. All I get here are angry record labels and insults from stupid people.

Nice guys. Drive me out of my own home.

2004-06-18T12:56:00.000+02:00

There's hope for BritneyI can't believe that I haven't seen this before! Oh, well. At least if Britney stops singing, she'll have a career waiting that will pay a fair amount more.

2004-06-10T17:10:00.000+02:00

Greetings!A big Hello to the guys at Alter-Ego Records, our latest readers, who recently found my personal, intimate and ranty journal.

Needless to say they weren't overjoyed...

Sorry, boys. But this is my site, and I'll say what I want. Special apologies to Grant and Paul, who didn't swear at me. Although, by golly, they do have a right to.

Feel free to comment on anything you don't agree with, and you're free to make up LOTR-esque names for me. That's fair.

2004-06-07T13:14:00.000+02:00

This weekendThis weekend was difficult. It's always hard to bury a friend. Harder, I believe, than saying good-bye to a family member. We washed the tears down with a lot of alcohol, which really doesn't do much more than fuel the fire. Eventually, though, it help you put it aside. Man, you know a guy through 16 years... They leave quite a void. I kept expecting him to walk in, grab a beer and insult someone, but ...

We also tested the Star Wars roleplaying game. You don't get much geekier than that... At least I wasn't the worst, though. Shaun kept correcting the GM about Star Wars facts (he's an addict. When Yoda said, "There is another," Shaun reckons he meant him.), which kinda got irritating. All-in-all, it was fun. And I didn't take the easy way and play a Jedi either. I'm too cool.

And, to make it a little better, the new Slipknot finally hit our shores. It's very Stone Sour-ish, but that's not a bad thing. They've definitely worked a little of their apparently limitless anger out, and have come back with a more rounded album. 7/10

2004-06-03T14:54:00.000+02:00

UpdateI had the wonderful idea of trying to get hold of the Hobbit myself, and try to convince him to let Captain Cain, Mistress S.B., Bianca and myself go to the VNV Nation show on Saturday. I never cork-screwed him, so he shouldn't have too much of an issue with me. Besides, the little twit is a coward, and I doubt he would be able to tell me in person that I can't go.

However, Captain Cain has already let him know that if he sees the Hobbit again, "he will finish the job GG started". So there goes that.

2004-06-02T16:31:00.000+02:00

You bastards...Mr Barleycorn are officially banned from attending the VNV Nation concert this weekend. And that means their handsome bassist (me, you idiots) is not going to see one of his favourite bands of all time.

All because a certain frontman (you, GG) stabbed the hobbit in the neck with a corkscrew (the hobbit is our ex label-manager). I'm not saying that you were wrong, or that it isn't something that most people who have ever met the little troll would have loved to have done. God, man. You became a hero after that!

What I am saying is that now I can't see the worlds coolest darkwave band. Ever. So, I don't care. We had to miss New Model Army already. Hookerbastard and myself have some very serious revenge planning to do.

I'm going to start a petition... Fuck! And I'm going to catch you one day, Bagginsss.

2004-06-02T14:47:00.000+02:00

Thank you!From Raymi the Minx:

"i think the madpony girls are fucking boring and they make me want to i dunno, something. and what's with one of them being called lauren? that's my real name, u know. but it's pronounced Luh-ren because it just is. these girls are lame and they make college life seem like an episode of a dumb tv show that gets cancelled after half a season. show us your vaginas already and stop posing like the olsen twins. and holy fuck who the hell wants to email your dad?"

I laughed and laughed. And Raymi has pics of her boobs on her blog, in case you needed another reason to check it out. Thanks Lord Master Steven.

Now Playing : Winter Comes from the album Northern Light by Covenant

2004-06-02T11:42:00.000+02:00

Sex Toys Don't ask me how I found this, because I cannot remember. Just go try it.

Now Playing : Distortion Sleep from the album Figure Number Five by Soilwork

2004-05-19T14:46:00.000+02:00

GenuisThe wunderkunts at Alter-Ego records have decided to add another VNV Nation show in Joburg, because the Cape Town concert was cancelled.

And, out of the many different venues that they could have chosen, allowing many more people to see this fantastic band, they have put it in the same place as the original show.

For clarity's sake, I feel it necessary to state that I enjoy Zeplins, even though its a bit of a drive. But I know a lot of make-up wearing, PVC and fishnet clad folk in Joburg who won't make the drive through to Pretoria, either because they have no means of doing so, or they couldn't be fucked to make the aforementioned trek.

Shows at two separate venues would obviously make more sense, as you pick up a bigger/wider audience. Logistic shmogistics. And there are lots in Joburg to chose from. They're just thick, lazy bastards (except Grant, of course), who couldn't manage a piece of paper. If you remember correctly, they were the label we were on before the fall out we had, about things just like this.

All in all. I'm still gonna go see them play. I'm very excited. But not about the drive.

Now Playing : Leader Of The Rats from the album Anthems Of Rebellion by Arch Enemy.

2004-05-19T14:14:00.000+02:00

Keep it upThanks for all the support over here Sigh of the Devil. Both of you are in my heart.

Some big things are going to be happening soon. So when I attain blog-infamy, those of you stood against me, will be crushed.

Now Playing : Poison Girl from the album Razorblade Romance by HIM

Now, Now Playing : This Celluloid Dream from the album Sing the Sorrow by AFI

Man, ecto makes blogging life so much easier. I see no reason why you aren't using it right now. Even you lowly Microsoft folk have a beta version available. This link above was inserted automatically, by the touch of a button.

And, because I am feeling interesting today, here's a DIY site with a lot of interesting ways to hurt people, and some other less informative stuff. Very hi-tech, so most of you won't be able to understand what he talks about. But there are pictures.

Now Playing : Shut Your Mouth from the album Nothing Remains The Same by Pain

2004-05-18T10:13:00.000+02:00

The Nomads strike againWe are truly living up to our epithet.

For those of you either don't know, or don't care, we are moving home again. In the short time that we dwelled, quite comfortably, in the Sunrock Village, we grew to love it, and planned to extend our least by another 6 months.

My father though, answering the cry of his 3rd or 4th mid-life crisis, has decided to move to the coast to start a curry restaurant with with his new girlfriend. Good for him.

He's leaving us his house. Great for him. Awesome for us.

So, if anyone is keen, and in the country, we are having the fourth house-warming party in a year at the new house. Its huge, bring your friends. The first to arrive can park in the other side of my two-car garage. If anyone gets too pissed, you can stay the evening in one of our two spare bedrooms. Bring your own drinks, which you can keep cold in Fridges A through D (yes, we have four fridges). And if there are any net geeks (most of you) we can have a little Unreal Tournament action on one of our three desktop PC's. Oh, and we have a huge garden.

Applications to be my friend (if you didn't take advantage of the last offer) open today. Please mail me your credit card details, or tasteless naked photo's of female friends/wives/hot moms.

2004-05-13T16:41:00.000+02:00

The term 'ad-infinitum' sounds to me like someone with the flu trying to describe something big.

2004-05-12T14:11:00.000+02:00

If anyone know's what's wrong with Haloscan please tell me in the comments section below.

2004-05-07T13:16:00.000+02:00

I would like to make this the official post of our anniversary.

I never knew I could ever be with the same person for this length of time. Happy 1 year, baby.

Anyone want to start a betting pool based on me getting to 2?

Want to see how it started, this day, 1 year ago?

Oh, and I am very sick, again. I will not let that affect the feastivities at Grassroots vegetarian restaurant tonight.

2004-05-05T15:27:00.000+02:00

Recent addiction

I think it might be pertinent to mention my obvious wussy-ing out. For some reason, I can't stop listening to the Cruxshadows' remake of the Eurythmics song, Here Comes the Rain Again.

I've never been a huge Cruxshadows fan, and I'm just shy of a card-carrying Annie Lennox hater, but the subtle, gothesque version is just too freakin' catchy. I only have the one track (sue me), so my iTunes keeps following up with the new In Flames album (which I will more than likely discuss in the next day or two), or something similar, and yet I find myself reverting back the the aforementioned song once again. And again. And. Again.

Which also makes me wonder about my reasons for disliking the original version, as well as my fondness for the remake. In fact, it makes me wonder about a whole lot of my decisions...

2004-04-29T16:38:00.000+02:00

I hit my first pedestrian in my new car yeasterday.

He shot out of nowhere, like a bat out of a dank, musty cave. He bolted across a busy intersection like that frog in the early Atari game. He slammed hard into my passenger side, bounced, jumped to his feet like a jack in the box, and carried on running. Hopped into the back of a truck and was gone.

The next time, he's going under my car. Even if I have to aim for him. The bastard smashed my side-mirror. Man, I actually wish he had been running face enough to at least crack a jaw on my window, or hard enough to bounce off and land under the truck in the next lane. There's just no justice...

2004-04-26T11:58:00.000+02:00

I think Melodic Death metal (of the type so prevalent in Finland and Sweden at the moment) can be defined, at least in part, as:
"A heavy band, who's songs have a catchy lead riff that would sound great as a monophonic ring-tone."

That does not include A-Ha's 'Take on Me', by the way. It has to be heavy.

2004-04-20T19:10:00.000+02:00

Just a quicky to let everyone know of my new favourite waste of time.
Sinfest.

Read the strip from the first one. Not for Christians. Or dipshits. Only cool people.

2004-04-08T13:05:00.000+02:00

I have no problem saying Fuck You
to these wonderful people.

How can one religion expect everyone to fall at their feet, when people like this are hoisting the flag? Segragist, fascist, intolerant, and completely up the ass of most free-thinking individuals.

And, his argument is lame. Your viewpoint is not the be-all and end-all of the universe, mate. Its not even right. Get over yourself.

I actually hope, that if Jesus returns, as they suppose he will, he finds this guy and sucker punches him. Then he'll have to explain why the saviour of mankind broke the vow of peace, and then his nose. Jesus is pretty tough, being 1/3 of the universe and all, and I'll bet it will hurt.

"You muppet," JC will say, "Don't you get the ideas of 'Love thy fellow man' and 'Free Thought', that I gave you?"
"Um.." will mumble Jonathan (for that be the muppet's name).
"You set about undoing all the work that I got hammered to a cross to accomplish!"
"Well, I thought I might rather use it as a weapon of fear and hate. Like the Pope does. Actually."
"I'm going to see him next about that," the carpenter will rebuke, but I'm going to hit him twice. Catholics. I ask myself. You are only saved because you have never directly caused the death of millions. And that's only because your website is so annoying, most people will read it only once, and then forget about it."
"Well, hold on a second! My KKK and Catholic buddies at the gunshop, and George W. said it was great!"
"Well, hold on a second, none of those buddies can read... Now Be Quiet!"

Bam.

After giving the Pope a severe beating, Jesus will come, and thence bestow upon myself, my justly deserved Superhero powers, and together we'll rid the streets of crime. Lord Killer Drexilman, and my trusty sidekick, Superchrist.

2004-04-05T17:08:00.000+02:00

I am getting sick and tired of these goddamn double standards everywhere.
As any one in South Africa will know, we are in a fairly unstable period of time right now. We are in a state of flux, and what we need above everything is the chance to forgive and heal. This is going to be a long road if the elections are anything to go by.

On eTV every night is that 'Election Soapbox' bit, where different candidates are allowed to explain to us average Joe's what it is they stand for in an effort to garner support against the unbeatable ANC. Fair enough, I'm all for freedom of expression. I'm also a multi-party idea supporter. But not when the greater goal is at stake.

The other night, Bianca walked into the lounge to find me screaming at the TV, like a deranged, foamy Manchester supporter. Some cunt actually sat there, the leader of some small insignificant little party, telling us all at home that he plans to rebuild the country by taking the money from the whites and giving it back to the blacks. After all, the white people stole land, gold, diamonds and freedom from the black people, didn't we? No. Actually, 400 years ago, people who happened to be white, came in and fucked shit up for all the black people. If I had my way, those people would be put on trial to answer for their crimes, but I can't. Because they. Are. Dead. And have been so for quite some time. I didn't take anything from anybody. For as long as I remember I've never been comfortable with the idea that one race is superior to another. I was born into a system of government that has since been thrown away. And I do not understand why I should pay for something that was done to someone else, neither of whom I have ever met, just because the unjust hand of suppression happened to be the same colour as mine. That's racism for you, you fuck. That's hate-speech. If anyone white had to say the same things, he would be burned in the street. Let's not even mention the fact that gold and diamonds would still be sitting in the earth if Van Riebeck hadn't plooped down on these shores. Nice suit, by the way, Mr Whitepeople stick. Versache? Whoops. That's a white guy...

I know the guy was just using it as a way to garner support (Yay! Free stuff! I'll vote for you!), but its going against everything we as a united country are supposed to be fighting for. Black people are sitting there going, "Hell yeah, those white bastards!". White people are puffing out, "What the fuck! Black people hate me? Well, I'll hate them back". And all the other races are whispering, "Oi, this is going to be ugly..." I'm not speaking for everyone, but I even found myself getting defensive at that cock-suckers remarks.

Then a few days ago, this Youth leader got up in public and sprouted a whole lot of doodle about how the blacks must go back to robbing, but only from white people. He openly incited hate and crime. The damage that little fucker is doing to the healing process is just criminal ('scuse the pun). He should have been jailed and beaten.

Then we have spokesmen for the white race saying mindless things like, "White's unite! Don't vote!". What in God's holy name are you trying to do? You should be jailed with little Hitler in the previous paragraph, mate. Don't act as my voice. I want to see you bleeding.

Now these fringers are not the majority for either race. I know this for a fact. But through their own selfish and insensitive attempts at gaining a foothold on power, they are straining the tentative and frayed bonds that the new South Africa is trying so hard to sew. Who the fuck are you to spit on the dried blood that our (yes, OUR) freedom was bought with?

These people should be shot. I know, old regime thinking, but fukkit. Someone should put me in power. Because the example that our 'leaders'[sic] are setting is going to burn this country down.

2004-04-02T12:02:00.000+02:00

Yup, if there's life beyond Cheese and Crackers, I just don't want to know what it is.

2004-04-02T11:07:00.000+02:00

If every meal included, or comprised entirely of crackers and cheese, I would be a happy man.

Cloggerarteria here I come!

2004-04-01T08:30:00.000+02:00

The war is over, and all the warriors have left the barracks. They are now back where they should be, in the warm, moist mouth of comfort. Thank God, among others...

*Whistle tunefully*

2004-03-31T16:46:00.000+02:00

Fucking little soldiers

I was unable to 'crash my yoghurt truck' last night, which has left me in an edgy mood all day. Maybe its the pressure building... For some unknown reason (even to myself) I decided to put my feelings into verse.

I have a head full of angry
A heart full of hate
A scrotum full of angry things
That apparently can't wait

To be let out their prison
That's what it is about
So maybe they should help themselves
And somehow chill me the fuck out

'Cause otherwise all my angry
and my twisting gut of hate
Will act against my intentions
And they'll just have to fucking wait.

I know someone who might struggle with walking tomorrow.

2004-03-26T17:48:00.000+02:00

Oh my God.

If you do one thing today, go see this. Satan himself.

Why, o God?

2004-03-25T10:09:00.000+02:00

On a scale of 1 - 10 of sickness, I'm sitting at like a 9. Which makes me not only worse than I was yesterday, but also the homid equivalent of the Black Plague. At least the colour's good...

Come, give me a kiss.

2004-03-24T10:52:00.000+02:00

Sick, sick , sniff, sick.

My mouth tastes like I've been chewing asbestos and gargling with urine. And I haven't done that in ages, so it must be the germs.

2004-03-11T23:25:00.000+02:00

Continuation...

Wow. the Martin Lawrence show is really not funny. Maybe you have to be slugging back 40's to really appreciate it. Oh, wait. I'm a pint of vodka down, and still going. And its still not funny. Not even a little. A black man with subtle humour (like a train accident) playing many roles in the same show, trying to play it off by using every stereotypical 80's cliche there is. This is what a labotomy must feel like, if it was done with an AK-47, bi-atch! Whooo-ooo!

Kill me. Wait, I'll do it myself. Hey! Me! Hand me the vodka...

2004-03-11T23:03:00.000+02:00

Kate and Leopold

Well, another movie down. I have seen so many.

This particular DVD was rented on accounts of my beloved girlfriend loving it. she wasn't feeling too well today, so I felt the need to do a boyfriend-y thing.

Now, I'm a big a sucker for romantic comedies as any normal girl, but I feel a little let down.

The concept wasn't bad, in the same way that Back to the Future, or Donnie Darko wasn't bad. It was as predictable as a puzzle with four pieces.

Man travels forward in time
Man meets woman
Attraction happens due to... something inexplicable
Man makes life decision
Man travels back in time
Woman has epiphany
Woman follows man through time
She stops the (barely) inevitable
All things are right with the world

Ok, maybe more than four pieces. But predictable, non the less.

Now that that's over, I'm watching a program on TV called 'the World's Most Evil Men'. This episode focusses on Stalin. I'm dosed on vodka, so I'm not sure if this is horrifying or inspirational.

Personality, not actual morals, squeeze faith from the rabid masses. When I take over the world, granted the momentum of this moment moves on, I will continue to keep this blog (still free, I assume) so that history will accurately remember everything about me. Intelligence and personality. And a cute bottom, I'm told.

It will make a good bio.

Oh. Now there's the Martin Lawrence show. You can all sleep safe tonight. Inspiration... slipping... no... running away...

2004-03-11T14:33:00.000+02:00

Three ways to deal with a co-supplier...

1. Talk calmly over a lunch, getting all the issues into the open and dealing with them
2. Drawing definite lines as to separate roles, so there is as little friction as possible between the two factions
3. Pillowcases and cue-balls

But not necessarily in that order.

2004-03-11T09:39:00.000+02:00

Last night...

... was just a little bit rough. Firstly there was the fact that I almost died after a nasty beating at the hands (and feet) of some gang of thugs. Then there was the car accident that I barely survived. As if that wasn't enough, we were also jumped by a private eye, and eight other guys while we were breaking into someone's house. How they found us, I'll never know, but they did. And they were armed. We got away, however, by hijacking a civilian Audi and bolting into the wild.

At some stage, Heathen had his neck snapped in a hostage situation/stand-off by an inhumanly strong ghoul, while I shot his buddy ghoul in both legs. Syn went into Crinos, while I frenzied, not lending much assistance. The ghouls were transporting corpses, you see, when they stopped to assist our broken-down vehicle, just outside town. Eventually, the Irishman got a sword to both of them, and they now lie in bits on the side of a backroad. We stole their car, corpses and all, and ran a roadblock shortly afterwards. We had to run it, as we weren't too sure how the cops would react to three teenage bodies, and two badly mauled creatures on the back of the pickup truck. After a fair amount of crashing and cop killing, we sped away, leaving the police in our dust. In a bizarre turn of events, the Irishman turned on us while Heathen was bleeding and I was sleeping, threatened Syn when she tried to stop him, and stole the prize we had until recently been searching for, and finally claimed. He's now disappeared. When I find him, I will remove him from this mortal coil. Piece. By. Piece. Run fucker.

We are now back in the woods, recovering with the help of the Children of Gaia; our only refuge in this strange place. A good people.

Man. Werewolf rules the planet.

2004-03-09T15:30:00.000+02:00

Hmm... been a while

A whole eight days without a post. Pretty shoddy, in my opinion. And here, my opinion is the only one that counts.

In a nutshell:
a) Captain Incapable tried to have us thrown out of the complex again.
b) We found out that the Cap'n has no right to even chastise us, and that we couldn't be thrown out
c) He works in a post office
d) I'm dreaming up ways to have him beaten

e) Bumped into the Fuck-face ex-housemate who I so vehemently wrote about a few months ago. I saw her in Northgate, grabbed Bianca by the arm, and dragged her in the opposite direction. This had the unfortunate side-effect of making Bianca feel guilty, and both of us walk all the way back to the store I made us turn away from. That showed her. Whore.

f) Werewolf is the coolest RPG ever. Good with mates. Better with booze. Ok, so I like role-playing, hence I'm a dork. I'm a better looking dork than you, Klingon!

g) I still rock the Casbah with an iron fist. I Dj'd on Saturday, and everyone loved me. As they used to. Someone even saw me and yelled,

"Dude! Drexil's playing again! Hell yeah!" Thank you. I try. I then disappointed him by playing almost zero new-metal or rapcore, and sticking to Electrogoth, Industrial, Love Rock, Darkwave and Melodic/Black Metal. Sorry, but I'm sick of being known as a unistyle Dj, no matter how good I'm supposed to be at it. So I showed them my versatility by playing all kinds of music I assumed would expand certain musical horizons. I think it worked, surprisingly. Either that, or the Jack Daniels sponsored party did what it was designed to do.
Some bald chick tried to kiss me over the mixing desk, spilled tequila and ashtrays, while the Deathstars hammered on in the background. Metal, baby! I'm a hard-core dork. Bitch.

h) Someone read my blog today, and said it was funny. Funny?

Well, that's all I can think of. Later.

2004-03-01T14:57:00.000+02:00

Man, this guy makes me giggle.

There's nothing that quite brightens up your day like finding someone who hates everything more than you do. Thanks Maddox.

And this said by a vegetarian with a propensity for dark clothing and gloomy music, if you know what I mean.

2004-02-22T13:09:00.000+02:00

Its late. I'm sitting on my lounge floor, my Mac (how I love thee) on my lap, and drunk.

White wine. Red wine. And the awful inbred child, Rose the illigitimate tinged son that tends to attract girls and induce nausea in everyone. Together, they are throwing the worst party in my tummy. I'm actually sweating a little. All our friends have just left, so I'm left to my own devices (Bianca passed out). I managed to steal a number of albums off Tyran (Track4's singer) before he left. And now I'm testing them.

The new 40 Below Summer rocks.
The first 36Crazyfists is still that good. My original copy was in my car when it was stolen...
Hatebreed kick something.
I finally have American Head Charge's debut, which I always loved but never bought.
I managed to get Tyan into both From Autumn to Ashes and HIM. No suprise why. Man, typing is hard. I have to proof read my sentences, as well as the individual words.

And.
Taa da daa!
Is the fact that currently playing is 30 Seconds To Mars. I did not know that Jared Leto (Requiem for a Dream, the most disturbing movie ever made) has a semi-successful music group, and now I can understand why they have any following at all; They're really good. But really.
The idiot was barely able to breathe by himself (or so it seemed) in RQD, and here is this band who are fantastic.
They'll never make the All Time Hits list, but the music inspires thought and beauty. Which means he's more than he appears.

You have to check it out

2004-02-20T18:03:00.000+02:00

And on a similar vein as the topic below, who is that wonderful girl in the Monster Magnet - Heads Explode video, with her kit off?

Actually, its the exact same vein.

2004-02-20T15:52:00.000+02:00

I hate to sound either juvenile or uninspired, but I love breasts. Boobs. Tits. Whatever you want to call them, except 'jugs', 'melons', 'cahoona's', 'girl blubber', jubblies', 'cones', 'knockers' or 'two soft fleshy milk-secreting glandular organs on the chest of a woman' (a definition I found when looking for more degrading terms that would help me sound more lech-like and worldly).

I cannot fathom why two lumpy chest bits would have this affect on not only myself, but apparently most men and a lot of women too.

Is there anything more wondrous on God's Green Earth? Can anyone explain the complete tremendousness (I'm reaching) of the female breast? Especially if they are, in fact, tremendous.

2004-02-19T19:03:00.000+02:00

Sitting.

Half in, half out of the huge, leather chair.
Witching Fist of the North Star on 5 TV's.
Not knowing what's going on.
Because I'm listening with pleasure and suprise to the new No Motiv that Rich bought.
Need a wee. Too comfy.
Finding images in Getty. Presentation due in completion tomorrow.
Want wine. Lots.
Need bathroom. Really.
Logging in to BME's chat room.
More shit catalogue images.
Mac pushing on bladder.
Going to bathroom.

2004-02-17T11:03:00.000+02:00

Eat my dust, motherfuckers.

Panther, baby! You can now add me to the ranks of the elite.

As if you couldn't before...

2004-02-16T19:45:00.001+02:00

Why is Felicia Mabuza Suttle, the bespeckled crocodile still on TV? If there was ever a bigger reason for racism, apart from Rob Mugabe of course, I just don't know what it is.

No. Put down the pitchfork. Read it again. I am not supporting... actually, fuck off. I'm not justifying my dribble to you. Go and tell it on Felicia.

I re-read this before I hit POST, hence this little annotation. I can actually see why the first paragraph is a little off colour (no pun, I swear). I would like to rephrase my self, without removing anything. The two personalities referred to above are wankers, regardless of what race they are. Jesus, if they were green it wouldn't affect my urge to kill them in bad ways. It just seemed clever at the time. In fact, I still think I'm a little smarty-pants, but that might just be me. But if you disagree, you're on their list.

2004-02-13T14:42:00.000+02:00

Ok, I finally got to change the video to something a little more palatable.

A mix DVD that I, myself, fashioned with my own two hands.

Right now, Kittie. And I think I still have a small crush on Morgan Lander. Rwwaaawr.

2004-02-13T11:27:00.000+02:00

Modern Talking. Three in a row. Modern Talking.

Gt a hair cut, get a job, you Fucks! Die! Aaarggggg!

2004-02-13T10:53:00.000+02:00

Friday the 80's

This day, Friday 13th of February, is going to be a very strange day. Stranger, and possibly scarier than any Friday the 13th ever before. Scarier than the movies. All of them. I will update often.

Background: We have 5 TV's mounted to the roof in our open-plan office. All of them are connected to a PlayStation 2, VCR, DVD player and also have an input if we want to run anything directly off our PowerBooks. Cool, no?

It was earlier, when we started the day with Manson and Tiamat videos off the DVD player. You know, happy-go-lucky bouncy stuff. Perfect for Friday the 13th. Then one particularly cruel staff member remembered his parents' collection (I mean it. Collection) of eighties and early nineties music vids they had recorded off the telly. Six tapes worth. He fetched them, and we are now watching them in terrifying succession. One after the other. BeeGee's. Cliff fucking Richard. That 'Gold' song. Bruce Springsteen jiving in tight jeans, while his band kick their legs like GoGo girls, swaying side to side like they're watching tennis. That induces a bit of seasickness. Well, its the swaying, or its the neon. The effect's the same. More headbands than Vietnam. And Courtney (I won't regret this!) Cox too.

Oh, Jesus. Jesus. The Pet Shop Boys. Its a sin that we're playing these. Sorry.

Who needs horror movies? Now the aforementioned staff member is commenting on the clever name.
"Think about it! Boys. And they're in a pet shop! Hey?"

Does anyone remember these things? Christ...

Now we have the Kiddy Fiddler Jackson swinging his hips like he's trying to dislodge a ferrett from his pants without ruining the video. Well, news for you... AAAAHHHHHH! Help! Co-ordinated improv street dancing!!! And I think he's trying to rape this girl! Great, now more people dancing in the street like nobody planned it. I'm telling you, if I was walking to the Cafe to get some ciggarettes, minding my own business, and this group of people in Fedora's started a routine as they passed me in the alleyway, twisting and whirling in time, I swear I'll just end it then and there. Just to think, twenty years ago no one even looked twice at a bunch of prancing street thugs. Merrily shaking their booties on the way to the station or wherever.

.................... Modern Talking. I can't do this any more..... The Horror. With a capital 'H'. My hands are clasped to my face. Malcaulay Culkin-esque.

2004-02-09T17:02:00.000+02:00

You wanna fight, bitch?! You wanna throw down (I think this is the correct term)?! Yeah, you, puto!

Then go and get yourself Brawl, and bring it here! I'm gonna take you down to China Town. I'll hit you so hard your teeth will be born in the last century. I'm gonna fuck you. You're going to be smiling out the back of your hand.

As you can most probably tell, I'm not much of a fighter/instigator. Which is why I'm going to stick to this quick fun little card game.

Now Playing : Jealous Sound - Kill them with Kindness
This is an album that should be owned by everyone from fans of the Smashing Pumpkins to fans of The Faint. Which admittedly is not everyone. With a softly sung brilliance that is both beautiful and energetic, I often find myself pulled between wanting to cry and needing to jump around in glee. Its one of those types of albums. The near-whispered lyrics are completely empty of the usual cliché's, which is odd considering the album title, and ahem thought provoking enough to make you want to hear it over and over again. I sense great things for these guys, even though their lack of marketability (I don't think I heard the word 'fuck' once) may leave them in a slight obscure place forever. If you hear it, you'll love it.

2004-02-02T12:20:00.000+02:00

Fun weekend. Lots of breasts (don't ask, because I promised I wouldn't tell). Lots of cocktails. Lots of wishing I had seen more breasts, and less cocktails. Lots of shopping. Lots of moaning about shopping. Lots of wishing I had never heard of cocktails while shopping. And a little bit of tennis. Which wasn't that bad, let me tell you. I'm not Agassi, but I can clobber a ball around pretty well.

And, as a follow-up to Friday's post, the new Charon is awesome. Really fantastic. It is a lot rocky-er than their previous one, to the point where I think a few tracks might actually be office-playable without causing Rich...! to lob it out an open window.

And, I got a raise! Not... I can hear the jokes flying around, you dirty bastards. Stop it. Grow up.

2004-01-30T09:49:00.000+02:00

Well, the week has ended, as weeks sometimes do. And, even though I've been out for drinks once since the clusterfuck on Saturday/Sunday, I have no inkling of doing anything outrageous tonight. Am I getting old? I mean, I have cats. Don't old people own cats?

I have a reason, though. We have to be up early tomorrow to go grocery shopping, before G's toga party at 11, before we attend a Late-twenty-somethingth that night. Then up early the next morning to join the Brits for tennis. No, I didn't spell 'drinking' wrong. Tennis.

Now, chances are I will sit in the judges chair with a bottle of whiskey, grumbling and being witty, but the fact remains: I am getting up early for tennis.

Maybe we'll prove how 'street' we still are by hitting the Drive-In on Sunday night. 'Love, Actually' is showing. What? We'll take a bottle of wine with, then. So there.

Now Playing : Charon - The Dying Daylights
I'm not to sure about how I feel about this yet. I mean, almost all Charon is good, but I think it might just be a non-progressive duplicate of the first album. I hate when bands refuse to grow, and rather stick with their previous winning formula. The rocked-out love metal feel is still there, which is what I've always loved about Charon. Plus the obvious sing-along-ishness. Still heavy, still textured, still romantic in that dark, HIM kinda way. I guess we'll see.

2004-01-16T10:34:00.000+02:00

Finally saw Lord of the Rings, and without finishing all Elrond's lines with "..., Mr Anderson". It was pretty damn good. A few things I got out of it:
- If there's trouble, always send an elf. Those guys are like ninja's.
- Frodo is very annoying ("Oh no... I'm going to faint and fall over again...")
- Trebuchets are the medieval equivalent of a Pontiac Firebird, and I will own one
- Aragorn has a lovely voice. Never would have thought so with all the killing and smoking and bad weather he's always running about in
- Peter Jackson can do anything. Rock on Mr J
- Movies are always more enjoyable if the final scene does not include an American flag or long, nancy goodbye's

To anyone who read the books: Did Frodo really hop on a yacht and sail away with the elves? Or is that just creative licence? 'Cause I don't remember that happening at all.

2004-01-08T13:57:00.000+02:00

Seanbaby.com

Read this young man's 80's video reviews. I am not much of a lol'er, but man, I lol'ed until my sides hurt, and my little eyes did weep. I am sooo going to plagiarise his work.

Besides that, his cool points are skyhigh, due to his friendship with the SuicideGirls, who are a recent obsession of mine. If you follow my handy dandy link, you'll see why.

Rock on.

2004-01-08T10:34:00.000+02:00

If I sit and write about the holidays, I'm going to be unproductive work-wise for the entire day. I was considering doing it in the evenings, but the Simpson's is on tonight so...

In a nutshell, it was pretty fantastic. Though Bianca had to work through, so I had to take her in every morning. This has both it's up, and down sides:
Dside) I don't get to sleep in
Uside) I get to gloat about still being in my boxers in front of the PlayStation at 2:30 in the afternoon, unshowered and sexy while she's at work. Boo-Ya.

I finally managed to get a new car. Which came in the nick of time. A nice metallic aqua-blue Golf 1.6, with reasonable sound. Drive-In, here we come!

We found a new place to live as well. As anyone who has spoken to me recently will know, both Bianca and myself hated the place we were in. The mudhut. Slate floors, insect-ridden, and hot as Britney's bum. So, on New Years Eve, we thought fukkit, and moved into a lovely place closer to work, in a pretty little complex. It has a garden, small but nice. It has carpets, so I can fall over wherever I want, without hurting myself to much. It has a huge walk-in closet, where I can play Quake and Warcraft in privacy.

We even had New Years Eve there, and everyone said it was very nice. Good for them, or they would have spent the Eve on the pavement. No seriously, it's lovely. I have tons of pics, if anybody wants. These include shots of me in a dress, as a bonus. Mail me.

Will continue this after the Simpson's tonight. I have a massive amount of work to do.

P.S. Loose, lycra skirts are possibly the most comfy things ever. Don't knock it.

2003-12-15T10:34:00.000+02:00

Well, its been a busy few days. Hence the lack of posts.

Our company closed on Friday with a massive X-Mas party. Not your usual sit down dinner and drinks, we went go-carting, for lunch at a Cuban restaurant, bowling, bungee-ing and Laser games.

I am so sore I can barely move.

Which really sucks, because we're playing at Horror Cafe tonight, and I can see I'm going to be sitting down or something. I sure as hell can't stand.

Saturday involved another braai at our house. Even the Indians and Jews came, which is pretty rare because both couples tend to stick to themselves. I guess the guilt finally worked. I am good. The party itself got pretty debaucherous, and involved Ross trying on not one, but two of Bianca's corsets. I have photo's. Mail me if you want them.

The photo's were taken on my new Cyber Shot digital camera. Those little bastards rock. 2mpix. Perfect for those days when you're feeling a little Japanese. No, not in that way, Michael Jackson. I meant the urge to take pics of absolutely anything.

Then yesterday, after smashing a large window to get back into my house in which my keys were locked, we went to buy two of the most darling kittens ever. Now, 'darling' is not a word you will see very often here at Sigh of the Devil, so you must know how cute the little bastards are. Bianca's little boy, who is a fluffy grey-ie blacky thing we named Mr Sinister, and my gorgeous little pure black girl, is Princess Leah for now. They're not great if you want to get more than two hours sleep, but I'm trying to find out where I can get a little kitty sedative to slip into their food.

Kidding.

Otherwise, everything is pretty cool. I'm looking forward to two weeks of holiday, interspersed with car shopping, moving house (again, but its a nicer place) and getting foolishly broken windows fixed before the landlady finds out.

Happy holidays all!

P.S If anybody knows where I can get either:
a) A downloadable player that plays Real Media files (OS X)
b) A converter to make .rm files into other media files (OS X as well, dummy)
c) Deathstars - Synthetic Generation video in anything but goddamn Real Media format

please let me know. Ta.

2003-11-26T09:34:00.000+02:00

Firstly, its really hard to find a decent car these days, so I'm still driving Hookerbastards. Its wearing on me...

Secondly, this is the coolest site I've ever been to. Music's interesting. Takes a while to load, but go through the whole thing, and answer the riddles. Johnny Hollow.

Thirdly, we're struggling to find a new place, and thanks to the filthy whore ex-housemate, we have to do so by Saturday.

2003-11-18T10:56:00.000+02:00

I always expected:
When she hurt me, I heard 'World so Cold' by Mudvayne.
When things were good, 'Drive' by Incubus and
when I hurt her, 'Disarm' by the Smashing Pumpkins.
But it doesn't work like that.
And when I'm with her, its music all of our own.

2003-11-17T11:56:00.000+02:00

So, the tour has ended.
Four fantastic shows with Diary of Dreams and Termanatrix (who are now part of the Favourite Cape Town People Club). Except for the fact that the sound was shit, and my bass was OFF FOR THE FIRST FEW SONGS ON SATURDAY! Do you know how mad it makes me standing in front of 500 people, miming the synth bass?!? Very. Eventually it was sorted and I rocked like a hurricane. I can't wait for the photo's. Fucking sound engineers. There should be stricter screening process.

In other news, I have just found out that my Nemisis, Lord Fuck Head, is starting to move in the same circles I do. The dark ones.
The surfer boy has now decided that black hair, makeup and Marilyn Manson are the tools to live by. He's a surfer! Get outta my way. If I bump into him soon, I'm going to scratch his eyes out. I deliberately avoid his kind, and now he's morphed into mine. Like some kind of annoying ninja-spy or something. Hissss. Spit.

Either way, its a matter of time before we run into each other, thus ending 4 years of peace. I'm going to slug him with my guitar. Right to the head. I'm mad. Fukkoff.

I did manage to get hold of Grant's Dimmu Borgir backstage VIP lanyard, though. Thanks to Alter Ego.

Bagginsssssss...

2003-11-10T18:17:00.000+02:00

If anyone sees a white, special edition Golf II, Wolfsberg Edition actually, could you please pull the occupants out of the car and beat the suffering fuck out of them. Their death is your option, but I insist on them enduring a whole lot of pain prior to it.

Why? Because, due to the fact that they only made a few of those cars ever, the chance of it having belonged to me recently is fairly large. It belonged to me up until the point where THE FUCKING CUNTS STOLE IT!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRGRGRG!!! (That was me yelling, btw. I'm pretty angry about the whole thing.)

Then, if you could please email me where my poor stolen car is, so I can come and pick it up, I will give you R50 finders fee. If you want more, we can discuss it.

Don't get blood on my seats, please. They may be only material, but they are also only mine.

2003-11-06T08:42:00.000+02:00

There's a lady coming to sell Helen a coffee machine today.

And then she's going to take her clothes off.

Hell. Yeah.

2003-11-05T11:27:00.000+02:00

Big Night Out

Friday. 14h00. Flight to Cape Town.

Why?
We're supporting Diary of Dreams on the South African leg of their tour.

Us. Mr Barleycorn. Eat my shorts.

Its Foot-on-the-Monitor time again! Lock up your females! Adrian Hates is going to... well... Hates us after Saturday. Trying to follow our show, as the Awakening found out a short time ago, is not cool. Its like Sybil Sheppard following Masuimi Max up to the pole at a strip joint. We're like the Masuimi Max, by the way, just to clear that up. We rock. If I was a groupie, I'd fuck me.

In other news, Tasty Trixie, has a lovely site. Go visit. She's going onto my 'Hot Internet-Related Girls I Will Never Meet, But Would Really Like To' list. Good for her.

Now Playing: Pain - Eleanor Rigby

2003-10-29T14:25:00.000+02:00

For a good time...

... just add:
1) Girlfriend
2) Alcohol
3) Cameraphone
4) Apple Mac with bluetooth
5) JView
6) Nudity

Trust me on this.

2003-10-22T12:56:00.000+02:00

Close your eyes,
Give me your hand... Darling.
Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand?
Do you feel the same? Or, am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning... an eternal flame?

Say my name, sunshi...

Will somebody please get this fucking song out of my fucking head...

2003-10-20T14:22:00.000+02:00

Most of you will not know what I'm talking about, but take my word for it.

I hate the Tummy. Awful, awful Tummy. Ruiner of Holidays, Maker of Angryness, Scourge of Buffet Tables and Pillock of Stupidville.

Hate.
Loathe.
Despise.
Detest.
Abhor (this is one of my favourites).
Really, really don't like.

Thanks.

2003-10-17T13:37:00.000+02:00

Happy Fucking Whatever

I usually forget my birthday, so I'm confused as to why, this year, the thought of it sucking is depressing me.
Its tomorrow, for the majority of you who don't know.

Today Biggles' birthday overshadowed mine, and they brought out his cake first (his is actually today). By the time everyone had finished his cake, and my cheerful little candled-up cake arrived, everyone I think was pretty much sick of cake.

Added to that is the fact that many of my mates can't make it to the party tomorrow night because of some wedding. They say its been planned for months and they can't not make it. I pointed out that I'd been planning this birthday for twenty four years.

They were stumped.

Plus I've got to come in to the office at some stage to do work for the Tummy (may she fall over and bruise something), so that's a bit of a dampener.

Plus, I don't think I'm getting any presents, except for the new Muse album (thanks babe), which I love.

Plus, Eve's not talking to me, so I doubt she's coming. The Jews also can't make it, because of the awful time Josh is having with the thought of having lost his mom recently. The bloody wedding. Rich won't go to Doors. Greg has another birthday to go to. I can't get hold of Paul (the aggressive drunk mate that you might remember from last years birthday), Angie, Andrew and a host of others that I would really like to see there.

Bah humbug. At least the cake was good, and there's lots of it left.

2003-10-06T18:44:00.000+02:00

Can you write a blog from the pub underneath your work, without using GPRS to send it?

I can, and its Miller Time!

Thank Miller for Airport Extreme. Its Millering fantastic. As long as I don't spill my Millering Miller on my Mac. Then I'll be in a Milleringly sad state of affairs.

2003-09-05T14:16:00.000+02:00

In the world of Blogger, privacy is ironically a big thing.

Each particular site is the exclusive domain of the person with the password. Others can view, but not alter.

A few minutes ago I clicked on the Blogger link, so as to log in and correct an annoying italic hitch, and it automatically signed me in as someone named Bobby Sue. Now, don't get me wrong, I like being called a redneck, hillbilly girl's name as much as the next guy, but this was clearly an invasion of her privacy. So, obviously I had to violate it.

The next time she makes the trip to market in the city and checks her blog ("Cletus! Lo-ok! I ca-in type on this he-yer cahmpooter!"), she going to find a stranger's words on it.

I wish it had been a blog of some note, with more than one post, but you know those bottleblowing country folk.

2003-09-05T13:38:00.000+02:00

Ways to kill a housemate:

1. Poison her rice.
2. Boobytrap her CD player so the next time she tries to replace the Counting Crows disk with 'Best of SA' or Yanni, the disc shoots out and cuts off her head.
3. Pile all the furniture that she didn't buy on her chest until she no longer has the energy to inhale.
4. Hire a 'debt collector' to reclaim the money she doesn't have.
5. Tie her to the bumper of her shitty little car that she won't drive Bianca to work in and let it roll down the hill. Into a big, hard tree.
6. Tell Kevin that she's been cheating on him, and hope she dies of a broken heart.
7. Push her face through the screen of the TV she wants, but won't pay for.
8. Strap her to a train track, telling her not to worry, because you'll pick her up on time. Like she does.
9. Russian roulette. Then lets see her be indecisive.
10.Turn our 'music' up from the subsonic level she likes it at, to a volume so loud that her head bursts, splattering her tie-dye in brains. Won't be much mess...
11.Cram her into the only thing she owns, her microwave. And turn it on.
12.Put high output electrodes in her shoes, so that the next time she uses Bianca's contract to go to gym, she earths herself on a barbell.
13.Lock her in a room filled with hotrocks. It'll be less frustrating, and far more amusing, watching her dance from foot to foot in that situation, instead of when we ask her a question and she gets all confused in her indecisivenessity, staring skywards, umming. Oh, and then shoot her.
14.Smother her with those stupid, ugly, hippy drape things she uses as curtains.
15.Hit her with my fists and feet until she is a pulpy, broken mess. I really like this one. Nice 'n primal. Hear Me Roar!

I'm sure I'll have more tomorrow. Suggestions are welcome.

Now Playing: Frank Black & the Catholics. Rock on, post-Pixies.

2003-09-01T12:47:00.000+02:00

Happy Spring Day!

To celebrate, I’m wearing a fancy, bright floral top, with my new khaki’s, and these lovely leather sandals that I got from Diesel. And I’m showing them off, scooting around in my new Ferrari that was given to me by the great Dalai Lama with my friends, Bill Clinton and Mohammed Ali (who really like the car in red, but I think I’d prefer it in turquoise). I’m also going to wear my wonderful new ensemble to the Up With People rally on Mars that I was invited to attend with Carmen Electra. I’m so excited!!! I think I might sing Billy Ray Cyrus songs out loud all the way there!!! I hope our pilot, Jesus Christ, doesn’t mind, because my voice is far from perfect. Although, it has been know to Achy Breaky a few hearts from time to time. Ha!

You get my point. Bah humbug.

2003-08-25T14:18:00.000+02:00

In the car, myself and Rich...! were discussing whether or not I should allow my kids (when I have some, please God not yet...) to eat flesh, and the pro's and con's thereof. I'm a vegetarian, and he's a murderer.

Any opinions?

2003-08-25T14:16:00.000+02:00

I am a vegetarian. I haven't eaten flesh for close on six years now.

In today's meeting, instead of rusks with our coffee, we were offered sandwiches. Yummy, yummy sammies with egg mayonaise on white. Yummy.
Mixed in with those were a few tuna sammies. Which is flesh, which I bit into, which I had to use all my will power to not spit across the room, which has now ruined my record, and I want to be sick.

Let the next person to find this outrage amusing, be vomited on.

2003-08-21T17:56:00.000+02:00

One of our guys today remarked during a rugby video we're currently making, "now, THAT's eye-candy!".

During a rugby video.

He insists he was talking about the effects...

We believe him.

We just haven't concluded yet as to whether he meant the FX in the video, or the effects on him as a man.

2003-08-18T15:26:00.000+02:00

I really bite myself in the arse sometimes.
I am a fairly rigid anti-gun guy, which puts me in a bit of a hard place when someone hands me a shotgun and says, "Here. Shoot something."

... you have to.

Of course, the temptation to misuse them is awful. So there is still a reason not to pick one up.

2003-08-15T09:56:00.000+02:00

I feel it neccessary to add to my list of Girls I Shall Never Sleep With, But Would Definately Want To.

Darling Girl. Wow. Every good-lookin' blogger should post tasteful naked shots. Or, just naked shots. I don't want to be too autocratic.

At first I just enjoyed the clever title, and then I got pulled into the smooth writing style and obvious intelligence (note my points rising slightly), and then... well... tasteful naked shot.

In fact, I think I might make an actual list. I think I will. If you want to be on it, mail me tastefull naked shots, and we'll talk.

Right on.

2003-08-13T14:39:00.000+02:00

Last night Bianca and myself enjoyed a wonderful celebration of her birthday. Happy Birthday, babe. Hope you enjoyed it.

Afterwards I was rather forcefully coerced, either by Red Wine or Evil Hot Thai Curry, both of whome were there, to pay R399.00 for the Autechre cd, Tri Repartae. Its an amazing disc, especially if you enjoy obscure experimental electronica, and I'm not disputing that. But 400 smackers? Why didn't I stop myself? That's the cost of my accomodation for our holiday in September. I also could have paayed off my traffic fines.

Anyhow, I managed a trade at the store, and got Spineshank's Height of Callousness for Rossage, and Diary of Dreams's One of 18 Angels for myself. He'll pay me back, so at least I can reclaim some of the cash.

Its a mistake the first time. And I still have the overpriced electronic masterpiece in my iTunes. Take that Corporate Music Monster.

2003-08-12T10:37:00.000+02:00

Having sex while watching bad horror movies is my new favourite thing.

Not only are the positions required for both of you to be able to see the screen interesting, but the creepyness is pretty damn awesome.

Generally, I rekon the best kind of scary-sex flicks, are the 10yr+ low budget ones. Where they've realised how thin the plot is, amoung other things, and throw in as many boob scenes as possible to compensate. Tons of horny demons, unleashing their passions on young girls, succubi eating the souls of impressionable men post-coitus etc.

Try 'The Doorway'. But only if you're going to fuck during it. Otherwise you might hate me for my recommendation.

2003-08-08T18:23:00.000+02:00

Why horror movies no longer move me.

I cannot fathom how silly most horrors have become. Three nights this week have we hired out horror genre flicks only to be disappointed.

I can’t even remember what the first one was, due to its blandness (and Millers Genuine Draught).

The second was Session 9, which had much potential, but hit a reality streak and lots all the momentum it had. The special features about the Asylum upon which they based the movie were far scarier.

Following that was ‘Halloween, Resurrection’. I got all excited, lights off, beer in hand, childlike grin on face, singing along to the theme song.
The very intro was annoying. Jamie Lee Curtis’ character, as Michael Myers’ sister, hatched this seemingly elaborate plan to finally end the terror that her brother had caused by dropping him off the third story roof of the home she was in, through some light brush and onto a grassy garden floor. A guy who has been repeatedly shot, hacked, hung, stabbed, smashed and burnt… yet somehow she reckoned a twisted ankle and some light bruising might finally help him into hell. This was the biggest letdown. I remember these things terrifying me as a kid, and hardly a flinch was bled during this episode. I’m not much looking forward to Reresurrection and Reresurrection Revisted, when they undoubtedly decide to make them, as they always do.

Maybe that’s the heart of the problem. Can you outgrow horror movies? I hope not, or yet another colour of my life will be blotted away. I’m going to give it one more shot, and hire the new Steven King movie, Rose Red, which is a 5 hour epic that will ‘keep me on the edge of my seat’ according to the little ewok who runs my video store.

Two blogs to check out.
http://evil-pixies.blogspot.com , which belongs to my beloved Bianca. It’s the one I’m allowed to see.
http://www.robotjohnny.com

I can't be bothered with the whole href= nonsense, so just copy/paste into your explorer bar.

2003-08-06T11:42:00.000+02:00

Well, things are going pretty well. A bit of a fuckup after the Alcon gig, which involved tequila, but otherwise everything went swimmingly.

Jobs just seem to be coming in. Granted they're silly little jobs, but its something. Money coming in.

I'm trying to squeeze in a liittle time to blog, but there there is so much to be done all the time. My stomache keeps trying to crawl out my throat, fortunately it can't get a firm grip on the sides, so for now it stays where it is. Much like the little bitch in The Ring.

Oooo! Oooo! On Saturday I had my 5mil earrings replaced with 6mil tunnels. So now you can see through my ears, which is kinda cool. I would have like to have kept the rings, but becuase of the weight, they were pulling my ears further and enlarging the holes. I didn't want them to get any bigger, so I've nipped the problem in the bud. The tunnels are much lighter, and even though in comparison to the big manly rings that make the little tunnels girlier, I am happy with them.

Bianca's still cool. Little Drexil isn't. I have a small tear in a part of me that refuses to heal, and is stopping my from 'expressing my love'. It is her fault, so at least she can't whine about it.

More meetings today, tomorrow, and probably for a fair amount of my adult life. At least its paying off. Right now I'm waiting for the boss to get back because he 'wants to speak to me'. I can't think what I've buggered up today so I'm pretty sure its not going to be bad. That said, however, my stomache is desperately scratching again.

2003-07-25T21:35:00.000+02:00

Frank

Ever feel like Donnie? I wonder if he wanted, given the choice, to be hit by that jet engine.

All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for their daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere And their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, no expression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow No tommorow, no tommorow And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you 'Cos I find it hard to take When people run in circles It's a very, very Mad World Children waiting for the day they feel good Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday Made to feel the way that every child should Sit and listen, sit and listen Went to school and I was very nervous No one knew me, no one knew me Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson Look right through me, look right through me.

2003-07-25T17:48:00.000+02:00

Thirsty?

When life hands you lemons...

... throw them at someone.

2003-07-21T19:07:00.000+02:00

Superstar

I did my first photoshoot yesterday. I am such a model... or so I thought.

Its pretty easy until they place you, all dressed to the goth-nines in rubber and leather, in front of that camera. Everyone looking at you. You looking at everyone. You realising that you have no idea what to do. Everybody else realising that too.

The logical thing to do was to make bad jokes, and pull faces. Apparently, I'm quite amusing because I had them in stitches. Thank God, otherwise I think I mighta been in stiches... caused by myself, no less.

Maybe I'm a natural? Because even when they accidentally snapped me inatentatively picking my teeth with my tongue, they got excited and called, "Nice sneer, dude!"

I'd like to thank the academy.

So now you're going to see my face displayed... somewhere. I'm not actually sure where, because none of the photographers could give me a proper answer when I asked. Hope its not one of those 'Does your boyfriend have an STD he's not telling you about?' posters, ala Friends Series One. That would only be funny if it happened to someone else.

And if anyone needs Blue Steel® shots for anything (except the scenario mentioned above), I'm your man. And I'm very reasonable.

2003-07-19T10:52:00.000+02:00

Help us finish this

Tony and I were just chatting, and we've found the start of a joke. Help us flesh it out. I can't, because I mixed my red with my rosé last night.

It involves Counting, Not Being Able To Count, and Count Dracula.

As you can see, there is definately a joke there. The winner gets a prize of some sort. Good luck, may God bless you and keep you.

And, I never knew that something that looked remarkably like Kojak's head could be sexy. Thanks babe.

2003-07-18T18:33:00.000+02:00

Neo-idiot

Everybody else seems to be blogging still, and I feel a little left out. Doesn't anyone else work? Is it just me? Is it like a joke version of the Matrix, with me as the punchline? Everyone else knows, the red pill bastards, and are having a fat laugh at my expense. Everyone else is fornicating, playing Uplink, watching movies with a large green man. The next person who innocently asks, "Have you seen [insert movie I haven't seen yet here] yet?! Man what a great movie, don't you think?", is going to be fonged. Much pain. I promise. Granted I can make time.

Or did everyone else get easy jobs? What is the deal? How you people have so much time to spare, I'll never know. Well, hopefully one day I will. By the time I get to Bianca's, I'm too tired for love, and definately too tired for wine... which is really starting to irritate Mr Dependancy.

You know what? Fuckit. I'm going to play something completely anti-constructive, and I don't give a darn who knows it! Then, I might just have a beer. Don't try to stop me.

And as a postnote, Iron Maiden are way cooler than The Apostles (I didn't know until today, either. They're some arcane, crap punk band) so I think we should stop the inter-office arguments. As an added warning, anyone who stops Skinny Puppy to put The Apostles on, can and should be hurt.

Carlos is now riverdancing in protest to my enforced Iron Maiden double CD play. Let him dance, I say. Dance! I careth not. I hope you get blisters.

2003-07-10T12:14:00.000+02:00

'Oooo! I know this...!'
Round 3
Written word

`You are old, Father William,' the young man said
`And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

`In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
`I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.'

`You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
Pray, what is the reason of that?'

`In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
`I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
Allow me to sell you a couple?'

`You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray how did you manage to do it?'

`In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.'

`You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
What made you so awfully clever?'

`I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'

2003-07-07T11:50:00.000+02:00

"Oooo! I know this...!"
-Round 2

Eternal is the pain that you gave me.
Lonely roses wither and die.
These tears of mine stain your veil.
I'm forced to hide and fade away.
So soon the time will come.
Take my life and bring me to the ground.

In this time of despair.
When all that you love is dead.
It's my desireless game to be.

Lets keep it coming people.

2003-07-03T09:46:00.000+02:00

Round 1 of Ooooo! I know this...!.

Give me time, I will be clear
Given time you'll understand
What possesses me to write what you have suffered.
I'm in this mood because of scorn
I'm in the mood for total war!
To the darkened sky, once more,
And ever onward.

Artist, album, song.

No cheating.

2003-06-27T17:52:00.000+02:00

Uhh. Ok. What's this new Blogger deal? This is very weird. And, I must add, a lot crapper than the previous design. Maybe I should write a letter...

Anyhoo, if you want unlimited amusement, become frindly with Kirsi (sorry, I don't know how to hyperlink in here), so she can sms you filthy things from parties. She rules. Really.

This is irritating me, so I'm going.

2003-06-18T16:37:00.000+02:00

This is the first post written from my new Mac PowerBook G4.

I was against the transition originaly, but I've changed my mind.

Farewell to PC. Up yours, Bill G.

2003-06-18T09:31:00.000+02:00

I'm seriously doubting life's commitment to my SparkleMotion

Thing's were going well. Tons of jobs, or 'Money's', as I like to call them, are coming in. This means I will have enough cash to fly to Cape Town in September for EBJ's wedding, as well as enjoying a hard earned vacation with Hookerbastard, Mistress S.B., and Bianca. Aah. Sitting in the shade on the beach, sipping strong drinks outta interesting cups, looking at sexy, barely clad girls, and nursing bruises from Bianca, due to the looking at sexy, barely clad girls. It was going to be wonderful.

Now my... furgle...arggg....car has fucked out again. So I have to borrow money from The Man Who Pays Me to get it fixed. I can't wait for the bill... Its making a funny grinding noise by the front left wheel. My knowledge of cars extends only far enough to describe the problem like that. When describing the problem to the grease-monkey, I used the word 'thingy' alot. You get the idea. Any thoughts anyone?

Plus, I just found out that I owe a certain family member a fair amount of flesh for repairing my car the last time. This particular family member decided to recall all debts just before I mentioned that I might need to borrow more money to fix the thingy. So that's out. Hence the begging at the feet of The Man Who Pays Me.

So this September, I might be sipping beer from the can, sitting in the shade on my patio, missing my friends, and staring at the pool. Whenever I think I'm pulling myself out of the tarpit, something primordial pulls me back in. And we all know how bad both tar and primordial things are for your hair. Its that God fella again. Keeping me down.

And while I'm irritated, Jordan, and Jordan's friends, I am not a goth. Now leave me alone in my pit of misery, and I hope the Devil eats your soul.

Now Playing : Theatre of Tragedy - Assembly

2003-06-12T13:15:00.000+02:00

I had this really decent topic to write about, but I've decided to say 'Fuck you all' instead. Here goes...

Fuck you all. There.

God, I hate being sick. I think I have SARS. I also know who passed it on to me. If the SARS doesn't kill him, I will.

Oh, and if anyone can get me an AFI T-shirt, I really want to wear it on stage. If you can get a black one, with purple print (I know they exist), that would be super. I will reimburse costs incurred, as well as being your friend for a bit. Its too expensive for me to directly import. Help a brotha out.

I forgot to mention that I met my dad's new girlfriend last night. He thought it fitting to break the news at my sisters 18th birthday dinner. Champion.
Turns out Dot (yup, her name) is actually a friend of mine's mother. So I couldn't even be as awful as I was planning to be.
But after two bottles of rapidly drunk red, I no longer saw the need to be...

Now Playing : AFI - Sing the Sorrow

AFI-Death of Seasons
I watch the stars as they fall from the sky
I held a fallen star, and it wept for me...
...dying.
I feel the fallen stars excircle me now,
as they cry.

2003-06-11T12:40:00.000+02:00

Exceptional

The only way to fully succeed, to really make your mark, is to devote your life to that particular facet that you want to excel at. Most geniuses, and I mean the ones who are really worth taking note of, in any field are potent in that particular field exclusively . Mozart. Andy Warhol. Van Gogh. They all (amoung scores of others) suffered and struggled through hordes of failures, turning a blind eye to all the easier options along the way, in order to brand their skills in the annals of history and the human mind. Focus. Release. Single goal. Devotion.

Devotion.

In the Bible, God says, "Have no gods before me". Now, a god in not just an entity with a name, a god can be anything. Music, Art, Family, Money. They can all be put ahead of Christ and his Dad, and hence are gods too... not to be worshipped.

This, essentially, is a try at stopping people being exceptional at anything. Why? Does this mean we're a potential threat to Him? That we have the ability to be as great as Him, through exceeding, and is He's therefore trying to keep us un-exceptional, and thus a non-threat? Is that possibly how he came to power in the first place? Suppression through mediocrity?

Joplin, Morrison, Cobain. All were 27 when they died. Exceptional people. Is God employing the same tactics as Robert Mugabe to ensure his continued rule?

I myself will never be a threat, due to my self imposed shackle of apathy, but its a nice thought.

Now Playing : Charon - Downhearted